{"id":6577,"date":"2018-04-20T20:05:22","date_gmt":"2018-04-20T20:05:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.expoflamenco.com\/archivo\/uncategorized\/cualquier-diita-menos-pensao-vivencias-con-fernanda\/"},"modified":"2019-03-02T21:24:46","modified_gmt":"2019-03-02T20:24:46","slug":"cualquier-diita-menos-pensao-memories-of-fernanda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expoflamenco.com\/archivo\/en\/estela-flamenca\/cualquier-diita-menos-pensao-memories-of-fernanda\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cCualquier di\u00edta menos pensao\u2026\u201d Memories of Fernanda"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p>Sometimes it\u2019s a perfectly normal day, and you\u2019re living what feels like a normal quotidian situation. Time goes by, the situation becomes a memory, and the memory comes to be cherished. More time passes and you eventually realize what a unique privilege it was to have experienced that situation.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn\u2019t call Fernanda de Utrera a close friend \u2013 for one thing, she was a lot older than me, although she always treated me, and most everyone else, with extreme affection and kindness\u2026I think that comes through in her amazing singing, with that gently painful tenderness that touched your soul.<\/p>\n<p>The last time I saw her with her regal presence intact was at the Utrera fair in the\u00a0<i>caseta<\/i>\u00a0of her niece and nephew, In\u00e9s and Luis, around the early years of the new millennium. Her long perfectly manicured fingernails were painted fire-engine red, and her beautiful smile seemed as bright as ever. She sat on one side of the\u00a0<i>caseta<\/i>\u00a0for hours. Everyone who entered, went directly to her to pay their respects with kisses and embraces; her face brightened up with each one, and she graciously acknowledged them all with the dignity of a queen. I sat next to her for a long time making small talk, bringing her a little food and drink, fanning her at one point when the midday heat inside the tent reached its Andalusian intensity. At one point a singer came over who appeared to be a good friend. Afterwards, I asked Fernanda what his name was, and she answered: \u201c<i>oh heavens, I can\u2019t remember the names any more<\/i>\u201d, and we both laughed.<\/p>\n<p>She faded away little by little, it broke my heart to see her decline, and I\u2019m ashamed to admit I avoided going to see her because of the sadness it caused me.<\/p>\n<p>I first met Fernanda some thirty years earlier, when she was in her glorious artistic maturity. She would frequently go to Mor\u00f3n, where I was living at the time, usually brought from Utrera by the taxi-driver Piti\u00f1i who worshipped this lady unconditionally. She would come to town and head for Casa Pepe up the hill next to the San Miguel church to look for her buddy, Diego del Gastor, who was always happy to see her. They would hang out with friends and local admirers, and after a few drinks, there would nearly always be singing. I remember on one occasion a friend of mine invited everyone to his house\u2026\u201deveryone\u201d being about five or six people. Diego wasn\u2019t there, but his nephew Dieguito was, so guitar was guaranteed. In those years, the early 1970s, people in the towns of Andalusia spent the winter sitting in the warmth of the\u00a0<i>mesa Camilla<\/i>. We all sidled up to the table that was covered with a large heavy blanket we draped over our knees. Under the table was the metal bowl with glowing coals (no wonder there were so many house fires in winter during those years). Fernanda sang some buler\u00edas, then some fandangos, and then joked: \u201c<i>what\u2019s going on? Isn\u2019t anyone else going to sing?<\/i>\u201d We laughed, and the atmosphere eased up\u2026each one sang something, mostly sole\u00e1 and buler\u00edas, the occasional fandango\u2026 At our urging, Fernanda did her little buler\u00eda dance (pata\u00edta), accidentally cracking one of the floor tiles. The owner of the house swore he would never replace the tile because it had been broken by a queen.<\/p>\n<p>On another occasion, Fernanda needed a ride back to Utrera, and we offered to take her with some other people. The car was packed full, so I had to sit on her lap for the 35-minute ride. I remember thinking, \u201c<i>the gods have blessed me today, I am sitting on the lap of the Queen of the sole\u00e1\u2026and what a great opportunity to ask her some questions!<\/i>\u201d I wanted to know where she learned \u201c<i>Cuando se entere el sult\u00e1n\u2026<\/i>\u201d, and if it was part of a longer song. Then I asked her if a certain verse began on the 10 or the 12. \u201c<i>What is it with you people and the numbers?<\/i>\u201d she chided, \u201d<i>and what do they mean anyhow?<\/i>\u201d That was the shortest and most valuable\u00a0<i>cante<\/i>lesson anyone ever gave or received.<\/p>\n<p>The most poignant memory of all took place at the Mor\u00f3n fair one Sunday morning after a long night of flamenco. For some reason Fernanda and I ended up at dawn in a nearly empty\u00a0<i>caseta<\/i>\u00a0as the street cleaners were clearing away debris from the previous night. As we sat at a small round table, barely able to keep our eyes open, waiting to order some breakfast, a tall middle-aged man walked slowly over to the table, weaving a bit. He was dressed elegantly in a suit and tie, and clearly had also been up all night. He bowed deeply to Fernanda and spoke ceremoniously, like W. C. Fields, with slightly slurred speech: \u201c<i>My dear and most admired do\u00f1a Fernanda\u2026I humbly request you give me your shoe from which to drink champagne<\/i>\u201d. It didn\u2019t appear to be a joke\u2026I couldn\u2019t believe it! But more surprising was Fernanda\u2019s reaction. Without hesitation, without even looking up at the man\u2019s face, she bent over, removed one of her high-heeled shoes and gave it to him. \u201c<i>Fernanda, what are you doing?!<\/i>\u201d I whispered urgently. She answered with words that still sound in my head: \u201c<i>Everyone loves me for my singing\u2026but no one loves me<\/i>\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Original photo by Robert Klein \/ The Flamenco Project (Lebrija, 1981)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes it\u2019s a perfectly normal day, and you\u2019re living what feels like a normal quotidian situation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":9567,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-estela-flamenca"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cCualquier di\u00edta menos pensao\u2026\u201d Memories of Fernanda - 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Cantaora, guitarrista, bailaora y escritora. Flamenca por los cuatro costados. 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